Today’s world is full of problem solvers. People take pride in having the right answers available to help their family, co-worker, or customer solve whatever problem is giving them trouble. Many people want to be viewed as the “go to problem solver” – someone who has all the answers, all the time, to any problem. Being a problem solver isn’t a bad thing. If someone didn’t have the solution to a problem, that problem would never get fixed and then where would we be? But, what if this problem solver suddenly finds themselves in unfamiliar territory where they (gasp) don’t have the answer to a problem? Cue to ensuing panic on the part of the problem solver, and potentially big problems for them, their co-workers, and the overall organization. One of the greatest lessons to be learned in business (and in life) is that it’s not always having the right answer to a problem that is important. Often, it is having the ability to ask the right questions that will eventually lead you to the right answers. Right about now, you’re probably thinking that this is all common sense; of course you need to ask the right questions in order to find the right answers. Unfortunately, being able to ask those “right questions” is often trickier than one might think.
Marilee Adams wrote an inspiring book called Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. It’s told from a fictional standpoint and follows both the personal and professional life of a character by the name of Ben. He has recently taken a leadership position in a company and is finding it to be a difficult adjustment from his previous position. You see, Ben is used to being a technical genius, working mostly on his own, and always having the right answer for any problem posed. In fact, Ben frequently refers to himself as the Answer Guy. However, this “title” is of no practical use to him in his new position, and so we journey with Ben as he undergoes coaching in a last ditch attempt to keep his job. As Ben’s journey progresses, you see him slowly turn both his personal and professional life around for the better. So many of us are “Ben’s”; problem solvers who become increasingly irritated, irrational and angry when faced with an unusual problem that we cannot solve. The good news here is that we can change this part about ourselves, and switch our mindset so that we are asking the right questions in order to get the right answers from both ourselves and those around us.
The starting point is so simple. In order to make a change, you need to set yourself in the right frame of mind to positively change.
Adam’s book references becoming an observer in your own life, by which she means being able to step outside your thoughts and feelings to view what’s really going on in a situation. By doing this, you are able to determine whether you’re operating from a learner or judge mindset. A judger mindset lends itself to automatic reactions, a blame focus and win-lose relating whereas a learner mindset lends itself to thoughtful choices, a solution focus, and win-win relating. It’s much easier, and more common for a person to lapse into judger when they’re frustrated and angry. Unfortunately, the judger mindset leads to nowhere positive for you or your team. It is the learner mindset that will enable you to ask the right questions and get the right answers.
Once you’re in the learner mindset, you begin on the path to determining the right questions to ask both yourself as well as those around you. The questions you ask yourself subconsciously will ultimately lead to your actions and the positive/negative results you reap from those actions. The questions you ask those around you determine the type of relationship you’ll have with them, the results you’ll see from them, and whether you are able to develop new and exciting opportunities for your company. If you come at the people who work for you with negative and judging questions, such as looking to place blame for a certain mistake, then the results that you see from these individuals will be far below what they are capable of. As a leader in an organization you need to seek to understand the situation and what the possibilities are to change it.
None of what Adam teaches in her book is easy to achieve, at least initially. As quoted from her book, “change begins with the person who wants the change”. People in general are stubborn once habits are formed and prefer to remain as is, even if those habits do not produce positive results. Once you change your mindset and come to accept that sometimes as a leader you need to be asking the right questions as opposed to just providing the right answers, you will see a drastic improvement in the results achieved by you and your team.
